The One Thing A Man Will NEVER Tell You (But I Will)

FULL DISCLOSURE: I AM A MAN.

A charter member of my kind.

An old girlfriend of mine (who was a creative writing major in college) once referred to me as "a hot-blooded, rabble-rousing alpha male who’s a living, breathing repository of all things masculine."

Sounds about right.

I love women, sex, fast motorcycles, kicking ass and taking names. Candidly, I can't fathom for even a nanosecond being anything other than male. There are just too many advantages to packing a penis.

For starters, emotional detachment is a wonderful thing. It's been scientifically proven that men aren't burdened by the part of our brains responsible for the processing of emotion nearly to the degree women are.

This means we're far less likely to drive others and ourselves batshit crazy staying up nights to overanalyze and overthink everything ten ways to Sunday. Sure, sometimes guys focus too much on logic and reason, but that's okay with us...we sleep better at night.

Peace of mind is a WONDERFUL thing.

On the biological side (other than sex, of course), the biggest benefit to being born with a bulge is the ability to empty your bladder while standing loud and proud. Not only is it convenient, but the ability to whip it out at the drop of a hat means we don’t actually have to USE that stank & filthy port-a-potty at Cochella or the county fair.

Like the dogs that we often are, any old tree or fire hydrant will usually do.

Only the finest fire hydrants for THIS DAWG!

But of all the advantages being a man affords, there is one COLOSSAL benefit associated with an X and a Y chromosome structure that eclipses all others by a light-year.

Everything else runs a distant second to this ONE single reason being a man is so goddamn amazing!

What is it, you ask?

One word, my friend.

WOMEN!

As legions of gentlemen will attest, the human female is without question the most remarkable form of life on the planet.

Since the dawn of time, women have impacted men to the deepest levels of our soul. And with good reason…

Females kick ass.

I have a theory that the whole reason god created Eve had absolutely nothing to do with companionship for Adam. Rather, the almighty took one look at Version 1.0 scratching his nuts down by the banks of the Euphrates River and knew instantly he could make an improvement or two.

So he did.

And the good lord’s over-the-fence grand slam on day six of creation is a unicorn-rare example of the sequel trumping the original.

As a man, there are so many things that blow my mind about you ladies I don’t even know where to begin...

Is it your beauty?

Your brains?

Your unfailing ability to whip us guys into a testosterone-induced frenzy with just a look?

What is it about YOU that captivates us so?

While the answer to this question is different for every man, if I had to pick but one thing I admire MOST about women, it would be what I call The Sacrificial Aspect.

I define The Sacrificial Aspect as a woman's remarkable ability to put the needs of others ahead of her own.

It's the woman who works 8 hours a day and then puts in another 8 to keep the home fires burning bright.

It's the woman who offers her girlfriends a shoulder to cry on while silently screaming inside with her own private struggles.

It's the woman who puts her children first at every turn, ALWAYS ensuring they have what they need. Even if it means she goes without.

As a woman, your life is Exhibit A in what it means to put other people first.

MUCH more so than a man's.

Can you imagine what would happen if you were suddenly removed from the equation and men were left to fend for our offspring and ourselves?

I think it’s safe to say the motor of the world would implode and screech to a grinding halt.

Hell, we'd probably starve to death in the first week alone. Not to bash my kind, but let’s face it, we men can’t do what you do. At least not with the same grace, dignity, and poise.

Plus, guys can be pretty damn selfish too.

I can’t tell you how many times I've gotten my Fruit Of The Loom’s in a twist because I had to cut my workday short in order to get my oldest daughter to dance class on time.

Or the number of times I’ve ruffled my feathers because my youngest daughter decided to barf up a bannana the moment I’m walking out the door. 

💕 The Loves Of My Life 💕

Like many men, I go nucking futs when shit like this goes down. I get impatient, start swearing under my breath…

… muttering about how I should've worn a condom.

But not you ladies.

You seem to have this selfless ability to set your own needs and desires aside and do what needs to be done.

And nine times out of ten, you do it with a smile.

As someone who mentors women from all walks of life, this is something that STILL never ceases to amaze me.

How you manage to keep it all together for everyone else yet still stay sane has got to be one of the great mysteries of the universe.

That, and your ability to smoothly and effortlessly remove your bra from underneath your shirt with a single hand, of course.

So how is it that you’re able to be an exceptional caretaker, a good friend AND the glue that holds it all together even when YOU are hurting inside?

I’ve given this a lot of thought and what it really comes down to is that you ladies possess a unique blend of traits and characteristics that enable you to spread your love in a thousand different ways.

It’s your kindness.

Your compassion.

Your caring.

Attentiveness.

Patience.

These and other remarkable qualities go into the nurturing and supportive aspect that you do and do so well. And because we live in a world dominated by masculine ideals, these aren't virtues that typically get a lot of credit, appreciation, or recognition.

Well, that ends now.

It’s time to give credit where credit is due.

Whether you realize it or not, it’s the little things you do that make the world a better place:

It’s the way you multitask your way through the day like the maternal ninja that you are.

It’s the way that you rise up to meet a challenge while everything else crumbles all around you.

It’s the way that you and ONLY YOU can soothe your child’s soul in their time of need.

These are the things that matter most.

Because once you strip away all the noise, all the chaos, and all the distractions of modern life, the only thing that REALLY matters...the only thing that stands the test of time...is the imprint we leave on the hearts of other people. That is our legacy. And you, as a woman, are a shining example of that legacy.

Please don't ever forget how important you are.