I should have been a rock star. Not because I can shred like Van Halen or wail like Steven Tyler, but because I’ve spent damn near half my life on the road. I’ve always joked that if my life were a piece of clothing, it would be one of those concert tour t-shirts with the requisite ninety cities listed on the back. And though I’m far from materialistic, my life still reads like a store directory for Versace, Armani, or Prada… Continue Reading
Unless you’ve been living in a monastery or convent for the past few years, you’ve heard of the book, Fifty Shades of Grey. A fiendishly twisted tale of carnal pleasure, Fifty Shades has captured hearts and minds all over the world and lit a roaring flame deep inside a million female souls. Just in case you’re not in the know, be forewarned….this book is NOT one of your mother’s Harlequin romance novels. On the pages of this poorly-written but racy read, every whips-and-chains scenario your wicked brain can imagine is played out with great relish and descriptive flair.
And it’s about to get a whole lot better.
(Or worse, depending on your point of view) Continue Reading
I assume most folks are familiar with the term, MILF. If not, I think Wikipedia says it best…“A common colloquial term generally regarded as vulgar, yet denoting a sexually attractive older female; generally between thirty and fifty years of age.”
Despite its off-color beginnings and the words that comprise the acronym itself, the general consensus is the term MILF has evolved beyond its literal meaning and into a complimentary way of acknowledging the sensuality of a woman in her thirties and beyond. Thanks to television shows like Cougartown and The Real Housewives series, the term has permeated the lexicon of pop culture and helped shape the stereotypes of the beautiful state I call home. That said, one stereotype that definitely holds true is that California is a mecca for beautiful women. Fortunately for me, one such woman is my good friend, Lauren. One of the best things about Lauren is that she’s a forty-year-old mother of three. I’ve long contended a great many women grow more attractive as they age. Continue Reading
I’ve been blessed in this life with two beautiful daughters. They’re specimens of physical perfection with hearts of gold to match. When the Supreme Deity crafted this unique batch of femininity, the angels assigned to assist were clearly instructed to use only the finest ingredients. Their sparkling blue eyes and charming little personalities light up the days of everyone they meet and I consider myself the luckiest bastard in the world to be their dad.
I swear on my Granny’s grave there’s no doubt the good Lord gave me kids as payback for my forty-year reign as CEO of Troublemakers, Inc. Blessing a reformed bad boy like me with two beautiful daughters is proof positive that Queen Karma not only exists, but that she loves retribution. No doubt at this very moment, God and the Queen are throwing back tequila shots in the clouds and laughing it up at my current plight….. Continue Reading
The mere thought induces waves of nausea and recoils of revulsion in newly single women all across the land. Now that I think about it, the distaste clearly isn’t limited to just women. Most single guys I know would prefer an infected scrotum to navigating the dysfunctional and sometimes treacherous waters of dating after the age of thirty. The bottom line is, it doesn’t matter if you’re packing a penis or a symmetrical set of feminine breasts – the general consensus is that post-divorce dating blows.
Or so some would say.
Call me cracked, but I’ve always enjoyed the dating scene. Though my bad boy days of pimpin’ and playin’ are behind me, there’s still nothing quite like sitting across the table from an intelligent and vibrant specimen of human femininity. As a hot-blooded alpha male who adores women to my core, I believe every woman is a masterpiece in her own way. So to me, the process of getting to know someone new is like watching an artist paint a picture before my very eyes. At the beginning, each woman is an unknown – a blank canvas full of potential beauty and grace. As we get to know one Continue Reading